Ego and BJJ

Sorry for not updating more often, but it's competition time again at Leverage and, whilst I like writing about BJJ, it's a bit more important at the moment that I actually do some of it!

BJJ is a funny sport and it has to be said that ego can play a large part in training. Whilst it is important to be aggressive and roll to win, it is just as important to make sure that you are learning and, sometimes, learning comes from losing, even more than it does from winning!

I have recently been reading a few forums about BJJ and came across two stories that I wanted to share and that show that overly indulging your ego can seriously negatively affect not only your BJJ experience, but also someone else's.

In our first story, which I am led to believe happened in America, a brown belt was rolling with a beginner. Not just a white belt, but an absolute beginner. The higher belt had locked in an armbar but the beginner wasn't tapping. Not to be deterred, and absolutely determined to get the tap, the brown belt transferred the armbar to a more deadly version. The beginner was not quite aware of the seriousness of the situation and still didn't tap. The result? Snap, crackle and pop of the poor fella's arm. Not a break, but a nasty injury. As a result of this, the beginner decided BJJ was not for him and left the club, the post I read was his farewell to BJJ.

In our second story, we have the story of a girl rolling with boys. She is a blue belt and can clearly handle herself. However, rather than getting the respect due her belt, she has found that males, especially white belts cannot deal with the fact that she can not only control them, but is also able to tap them out regularly. The result? They attempt to smash her through the mats, which has in a fair few unnecessary injuries, not just from submissions being cranked more than needed, but also bruises, contusions and the odd sprained ankle as she is dragged, pushed, crushed and generally beasted all over the mats.

I think it is obvious in both cases that ego is what is driving people and it is clearly harmful, not just to bodies, but also general gym atmosphere. Whilst the first is a somewhat extreme case, the second is one that is probably fairly familiar to people in gyms all over the world.

There is a clear difference between ego and pride. Pride is generally fairly positive, it's what makes us not give up position, or fight out of bad positions and make sure that we give a good account of ourselves when we roll. Ego is what can lead us to take things a step too far and cause damage to others. BJJ is a generally safe sport, but if we allow ourselves to be blinded by ego, then this can mean that we are ignoring safety and cranking joints and crushing jaws instead of getting legitimate submissions.

Everyone gets tapped and it is how we deal with this bruise to our pride that, I believe, shapes our approach to the sport. I don't like to tap any more than anyone else, and I get a sense of achievement when I battle for and win a submission. It makes me feel proud to get a legitimate, good tap and it can really upset me when I am tapped due to a mistake or by someone that I usually can defend pretty well against (a sign of my ego showing through). However, I try not to go too far in getting the tap, and I also try not to become inconsolable when I get tapped. It doesn't always work and, one person at the gym mentioned that he feels you can't leave your ego at the door, you have to manage it. I think this is a perfect approach. We need some positive ego, or pride, but we need to try to leave the negative aspects behind, not just for the sake of our development, but also for the sake of other people's development and, indeed safety.